It started with the flu, it could of ended so much worse!

So where do I start......

I caught the flu around 2 and a half weeks ago which required some anti viral medication from Papworth, the tables I was given were a 10 day course in the hope it would stop the flu getting any worse and luckily that happened. However, after the flu went away, I was left with a slight wheeze.

As the days passed by, the wheeze gradually became more of an issue, so I called Papworth to ask their advice, they were happy with my numbers  (temperature, weight, blood sugars and lung function) the 4 things I have to record daily along with all the meds I take and the times taken, because all the data was ok the hospital wasn't worried and said to keep my appointment for September the 10th but if I deteriorated before then not to hesitate and call them back.

A few days passed and the wheeze was getting worse and I was beginning to become breathless when walking, so once again I called Papworth but yet again all my numbers were still ok and I was informed I'd receive a call back if the consultant was worried or wanted to change any medication. I wasn't called back so I wasn't overly worried with the symptoms I was showing.

Friday 4th of September morning came and I woke up wheezing so badly I sounded like an air raid shelter siren. I called Papworth again and was advised things were ok because my numbers were still behaving. As the weekend passed by I called Papworth again Sunday morning and was told to call later if symptoms got worse if not call Monday morning to speak to the team and they would advise on what to do, this finally gave me a little relief and I was trying to get through the day without losing my breath or struggling with the wheeze. I wasn't managing well, but still decided to go and watch the Solihull Barons play ice hockey against Telford in Solihull ice rink just down the road from where I live. I got to the rink and really struggled to walk around the ice pad to where I usually sit with my group of mates and when I sat down I was struggling so badly I felt like I had my old lungs back and was struggling to get my breath back. This happened three more times while at the rink and when the game ended I called Papworth immediately and was advised by the doctor on call to attend A&E to have a chest xray to rule out any possible collapse, pneumonia or infection within the lungs and have a nebuliser to attempt to relax my lungs.

I got to A&E with Emily and I was taken straight through to majors and seen straight away. I was sent for an xray and thankfully it showed that all looked well within my lungs. I was given a neb and I seen the doctor, he took a full blood count and proceeded to prescribe me with IV antibiotics and tell me I needed to be admitted, this came as quite a big shock to me as I thought I'd go there, have a couple of nebs and be sent on my way with extra nebs to get me through until Thursday the 10th.

This wasn't exactly what happened and I was moved to AMU, from AMU I was told I was going to be transferred to a ward and spend the night in heartlands hospital..... that's another story for another blog once that's all sorted out.

I got out of heartlands at 6am Monday morning after arriving around 10pm and went home to have 2 hours sleep before waking Emily up wheezing so loudly. I got up and called Papworth as soon as I knew there would be someone in clinic and was told to get here asap and been seen by Jas (transplant consultant) to be checked over and possibly have my bronchoscopy bought forward from Thursday.

When I got to Papworth I was told there was a bed waiting for me on Baron ward, so me and Emily made our way up to the ward and waited to be seen by Jas and to be told what the plan was. When Jas came up to see me I explained all my symptoms and told him what had happened. He got me to display my wheeze to him and straight away he said he had an idea what it was that was causing the wheeze. He told me that he suspected I had a possible narrowing with my airway and he would go and look at previous pictures taken from my other bronchoscopies and see where it could be so he knew where to look the following day.

He went away and told me that he would have me down for my bronch Tuesday afternoon and we could get the wheeze sorted out. Jas popped back later that day and told me he believed the narrowing was in the left lung and he could sort the problem with the bronchoscopy, so I was hopeful the wheeze would be gone and I'd be on my way home either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning.

Tuesday soon came and I was nil by mouth from 10 am so I could have the procedure done without any additional complications. I waited from 10 am until 2pm as this was the earliest I could go down for my bronchoscopy, I was eventually taken down to have it done around 3.30, and that's where it all began.

I got to the room like normal and proceeded to get onto the table and be set up to have my bronchoscopy. I confirmed my date of birth, who I was etc and they began setting to work on numbing my throat and then ultimately sedating me. Once I'd fallen asleep they were all ready to start my procedure when my oxygen levels started to drop at quite a rapid speed, when they hit 58% (anything below 95 isn't great for new healthy lungs, anything below 90% is dangerous for anyone) the call was put out for the crash team to rush to the room I was having my bronchoscopy, by the time the team reached the room I was in respiratory arrest, and my oxygen levels had hit the lows of 45% amd I'd stopped breathing. Thankfully the crash team bought me around and I was woken up to make sure I was ok and to keep making sure everything was ok, at the time I had absolutely no idea what had happened or what was going on, i remember small bursts and flashes but mainly i remember being extremely confused, i rember asking if Emily had been called to inform her something wasnt right even though i didnt realise something wasnt right. I was rushed from the bronchoscopy room around the hospital via ambulance to the Critical Care Unit. Once there I was given general anaesthetic and an emergency bronchoscopy was performed and the narrowing of my airways was confirmed, the airway which should be the size of roughly a 10p in diameter had narrowed to a pin prick in size.

They quickly froze my excess tissue that was built up and grown within the airway to kill it and remove it and a balloon was inflated to dilate the narrowed airway. After Jas had done this he took out the bronchoscopy scope and allowed me to recover in CCU over night. Once this was all done Emily and my parents arrived and I saw them in the CCU however I hardly remember it and I don't remember the conversations I had with them.

I woke up on Tuesday evening and got my phone to contact Emily and my mom to find out actually what had happened to me to make me end up in CCU! Mom and Em both explained to me what had happened and I was in a little shock myself. Of course everyone at home was really shocked and shaken up. I didn't manage to get a wink of sleep in CCU but this was simply because I wasn't tired so I sat up all night chatting to the nurses while they worked away all night doing the best job with each patient they had to look after on a 1-1 basis! The staff in Papworth CCU are second to none, it is the second time I've been in there and both for major things, and I have felt safe from the second I've been compusmentus both times! Excellently trained staff who know their job isn't just to nurse but also care! I cannot fault a single thing they do!

After spending the night on the CCU I was moved back to Baron ward as I no longer needed 1-1 care and was off oxygen and breathing well with little wheeze. I saw Jas and he showed me the pictures and explained that I needed another bronchoscopy tomorrow (Thursday) and that he wasn't 100% sure what would need to be done, he said he would like to freeze some more of the excess tissue which will remove it from the airway, but he doesn't know what it will be like until he goes back in, he said he may have to fit a stent, but that then comes with a list all of its own of complications after its fitted, or he will redilate the airway and see what it's doing and make his decision once he has eyes on the affected area of my airways! I myself won't know the results or what he has had to do until I wake up later Thursday afternoon when I receive my results and a summary of what's happened during the procedure.

Tomorrow is going to be a very anxious day for me as I don't exactly know what's going to happen once Jas is inside the lungs, and it's going to be an anxious wait to go to the room as I is the first time of being sedated after almost dying!  I know I'll get through it and whatever happens ill have the support of my family and my best mates and of course everyone reading my blog!

I will overcome whatever I need to to live the life I want with Emily! I cannot thank my donor and their family enough for this second chance in life, and I will do everything possible to live the life I deserve!

The long awaited update

I got out of Nottingham on Thursday the 18th of June, and i was over the moon, i didnt feel great but i couldnt wait to spend the weekend away with Em after not seeing her properly for what felt like forever due to me being in Notts and her working, i got out around 1pm and it was time to start our weekend of freedom with myself booked back into Nottingham for sunday afternoon because we knew i'd need ivs again after three nights off them. Thats how unwell i'd become. We arrived at the caravan around 4pm, we went to tesco and got some goodies for the weekend. We got back to the caravan and didnt go out because we had another two nights to do that. So we settled in with the telly on and relaxed until around 1am then we went to bed.

I was awoken on Friday the 19th of June to the ringing of my phone, I got the call at 5.55am, I answered the phone without taking off my NIV as it was just a mobile number and I had been told it would either be a mobile number or a private number that called me if it was a call for lungs. I said hello and was greeted with the words 'hi is that callum? It's ??????? Calling from Papworth, 'we MAY have some lungs for you' I was shaking and ripped my NIV off and said are you being serious? I couldn't believe it. I lent over and woke Em, she was in total shock and started crying telling me she wasn't ready for it to happen, that's about as much as I remember from the initial call and as you can see I don't even remember the transplant Co ordinators name which I feel pretty bad about!

I jumped out of bed because they said the ambulance car was on its way and proceeded to throw on my new nike shorts that have a matching jacket with trainers to match like I was going to a place where my appearance was going to be judged! It's such a crazy time and a lot of it thinking back, I think why did we do that when I'd had the call for lungs! We tidied up the caravan as much as we could and Em even had a shower washed dried and straightened her hair and had chance to put makeup on!! We waited for the car to arrive and he took what felt like an absolute eternity. While waiting I called my mom dad brother and nan to let them all know I'd had the call and obviously so my mom and dad could start to make their way to Papworth as they lived closer than we were so wanted them there for when me and Em arrived. I also had a call from the ambulance dispatch centre to say the car had come from Walsall amd would arrive with me by about 7.30am. The ambulance car finally arrived roughly about 7.30am and we was on our way. Blue lights and siren all the way,120mph around country lanes then speeds over that on the A roads made for a hair raising journey and at points it felt like me and Em were going to become donors rather than me receive the transplant I'd been hoping and waiting for!

We arrived at Papworth in less than an hour and a half, a journey which should take more than 2 hours! When we arrived at Papworth I was taken straight to Mallard ward and checked in. I was told that they didn't think they would have time for me to have a shower to be ready for theatre so I was washed with alcohol wipes across my Chest and made to shave my chest completely and both my groins incase I needed to be put on the bypass machine if my one lung and heart weren't strong enough to keep me alive during the operation.

After I had done this what we shall call a very long wait ensued!! I sat there and sat there and sat there, David the transplant Co ordinator kept coming back to see us but each time he returned there was still no news on the lungs as they hadn't been retrieved yet from the donor, as the wait got longer I asked if the extensive wait would have any negative effect on the usability of the lungs and thankfully David told us that the organs were being kept at their premium quality and had been improving results wise all day, the sats and blood gas results had gotten better and better through out the day while the organs were waiting to be removed from the donor body.

Around 4pm David came back and told me that he had received news from the donor hospital that the lungs were being removed and the next time he came back it would either be to take me to theatre or tell me that the lungs were no good so it was a very tentative time waiting for him. We was all sat there hoping that he would come back with a wheelchair and tell me to get into it and be wheeled away! We sat and waited a bit longer and everytime someone walked past the bay my heart went into my mouth, we was told that if my transplant op was going ahead then a lady in a side room wasn't having her planned surgery, when my dad went to the toilet her overheard a conversation saying that the lady was being sent home and having her op rearranged but I didn't believe him when he told me as he's a proper wind up merchant, and I was waiting for David before I got excited,nervous and I'll admit it scared. After about an hour from when he last seen me which was around 5pm David came walking into the bay with a wheelchair and I was told to quickly use the toilet, put a gown on and get my boxers off because it was all good to go and they wanted me into theatre asap to start extracting my lungs! He gave me 300mg of a drug called Itraconozole then
I was wheeled to theatre and I gave mom and dad a kiss and gave Em a cuddle and kissed her, but with that I had to turn my head away because I started to fill up with tears. All that was going through my head when I kissed Em was what if this is the last time I see her, what if that goodbye wasn't enough, but as David wheeled me through the doors where only staff and theatre patients can go at bang on 5.15pm, I thought to myself it was just a see you later not a goodbye.

Once I'd wiped my eyes I began to chat to David but I couldnt tell you what we spoke about! I was then taken into the aneathatist room and I got onto the table and they commenced with sticking defibrillator pads onto my body and ecg wires and sats probes and a cannula was inserted for sedation, once the nice Australian guy put the cannula in I don't really remember much and for the next 2/3 days I have relied upon Emily and My parents for all details.

I was in theatre until around 3.30/4am of the morning of the 20th of June, and Em was the first person to see me after the op at about 5.30 in the morning. After she seen me and spoke to me while I slept my parents came in. I slept through them being in the room too, they were told by the staff they was going to try and wake me around 9am to see how I was. The clock rolled around to 10.30am and I still hadn't been woken up, but I'd had a bronchoscopy and the doctors had been around to see me. They were over the moon with how surgery had gone and there were no complications, They hoped I could be taken off the ventilator that day once I was awake and I was showing I was strong enough to breathe on my own.

Once I'd woken up a bit I was still in and out of sleep but I can remember asking for the vent to be taken out by using hand signs, and I can also remember telling Joe saying that if I woke up more then it could come out, and my dad saying hear that cal, with that I threw my eyes open as widely as possible but still being so tired they closed pretty rapidly! I was signalling with my hands I had some phlegm in my throat and I was trying to clear it but as I still had the vent down Joe had to use suction to clear my throat twice but he could see I was trying to do it myself against the ventilator, After about an hour and a half I was finally allowed to have the ventilator out and it was heaven, I can remember being able to take a breath that was bigger than any breath I have been able to take in a long time, however the pain from being cut open and my chest drains was agonising. As Saturday went oeverything began to deteriorate, i began to go into lung failure, so obviously the doctors were on scene immediately to discuss and attempt to solve the reasons behind me going into lung failure, two doctors had conflicting ideas on why this had happened and my dad said they had had a 'professional' debate, which he later explained was a full on argument as to which course of action to take, one doctor wanted to re ventilate me because they believed the reason for the problems was my breathing, the other wanted to give me an epidural ,he believed all my vitals were being sent off because of pain. Luckily the second doctor won the argument and I received and epidural which settled my pains dramatically after trying several different pain killers including ketamin which I had great pleasure telling Em and dad I was about to have when they came into the critical care room. To say industrial strength horse tranquiliser did nothing may begin to explain the pain I was in! Once the epidural went in the pain subsided a bit, thank god the doctor who thought the lung failure was caused by pain was correct and won the argument.

After getting the epidural I was able to start Sunday the 21st in a little less pain, I saw the physio who wanted to get me out of bed and sat in the chair in the room so my new lungs could be stretched out and I could begin to take larger breaths and start to use the muscles I hadn't used for many months, possibly years due to how poor my old lungs had become.

The physio was sorting out my chest drains and catheter bag with the nurse when I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and before they could say ready I had stood up. To say the nurse and physio screamed when I stood up would be an understatement. But I looked at them both with massive confusion and said isn't that what you wanted me to do? And they laughed and told me they just wasn't used to people getting up without warning, and with that I shuffled to the chair and sat out the bed for about 30 mins while they made my bed and freshened me up. Later on in the day I was given gas and air so that I wasn't in pain while they took out two of my four chest drains, after several large breaths on the gas and air my new lungs took plenty of it in, and to say I was floating would explain the lovely feeling of gas and air, however, I still felt the drains come out and it wasn't the most pleasant feeling. The only thing that made it better was the fact my one drain hole began to make a very amusing noise when you're high, my chest drain hole made the longest farting noise I've ever heard!

Monday went by without much change, apart from my blood gas results, I had a cannula in my right wrist that was into my arterial vein so they could monitor my carbon dioxide levels in my blood to make sure the new lungs were behaving and doing the job the was supposed to be doing of dispelling the waste product from my lungs and take in enough oxygen to keep my organs alive and my blood oxygen levels at the right level. I was having blood gases taken every half hour but thank god the cannula worked well until late on the night when it had to be redressed and repositioned as it decided it no longer wanted to give blood.

Tuesday 23rd started pretty relaxed and there had been faint whispers on Monday that if my blood gases stayed stable through the night that I would be allowed out of CCU and onto Mallard ward for the rest of my recovery after transplant. The news finally came through that I was allowed to move to the ward and in came the physio with a big smile, her thought was that we should see if I could walk as far as I could with a wheelchair behind me for if I needed a break at any point, I got out of the bed and said to myself this is going to be hard, but I'm going to make it to the bed on the ward. I was very light on my feet and still in quite a lot pain but I was determined to do it. I walked out of the room, and out of CCU mom dad and Em were sat outside the ward and I could see the look of pride on their faces and mom and Em filled up with tears. They said while they had been waiting everyone that had moved from CCU to Mallard had been pushed in a wheelchair, that made me even more determined to make it to the room. I carried on at a slow pace but I knew I could make it, it felt like I was walking a marathon in distance to the room. I got to the room and sat on the edge of the bed and was over the moon with my achievement but was absolutely exhausted! I don't remember much more from that day, apart from the Sahara desert heat in the room and the stench of the food as I was opposite the kitchen.

Wednesday and Thursday passed without much change lung wise, but I did have a few set backs, from MRSA, to C Diff, to a positive swab for bacteria by my bum! These few things as well as a chest infection made my stay on IVs last 6 weeks in total! 3 weeks in Papworth then 3 weeks at home once I got home. I had my 3rd chest drain out one of these days but I can't really remember which day as I was floating in and out of sleep an awful lot, I was having oral morphine and tramadol on top of the epidural so I wasn't that with it. As I was sleeping a lot and my appetite was awful I was told off by both consultants and my surgeon,as well as mom dad and Em, I was trying my hardest but felt that tired I wasn't hungry and had no energy, but I was read the riot act by Em and the folks and it gave me the kick up the arse I needed.

Friday,  Saturday and Sunday marked a week post tx, the 4th and final chest drain came out and my breathing was getting stronger and stronger each day and I was feeling well within myself but struggling for the heat in the room! I was on a morphine pump after my epidural was taken out as my pain got an awful lot worse, i was able to have morphine 12 times an hour, when the nurse checled the pump i had pressed the button over 40 times in an hour so they became well aware just how much pain i was in, so they upped my morphine dose, checked again an hour or so later and over 3 hours i had pressed the pump in excess of 300 times when i was only able to have 36 doses! It become clear very quickly that i needed a different form of pain relief so i was switched onto oral morphine ad regularly as i needed it and tramadol. This significantly helped the pains! I was moved from the sweat box of a room to a lovely room with a view of the grounds with two big windows that opened slightly more than the other room. My dad had to come home to get things sorted an thankfully he bought back my Dyson Fan (which was fund raised for by Popas Bar Anderby Creek) bringing the fan helped massively as it was the hottest week of the year!!

After few more days Jaz the consultant said I needed to walk more, so I began walking around the ward with my parents or Em between walks with the physio, I even managed a walk down to the duck pond to feed them and sit outside for 15 minutes. I'd mastered the walking so my dad made me do it several times one day in the hope it'd aid my road to recovery but the day after I was in a mess and my legs were killing and I was so tired I couldn't go for a walk. Once I got moving the next day there was no stopping me, and I was walking as much as possible.

The time that follows until I got out all rolled into one day so I will just fill you all in with things that happened.....

My weight had dropped pretty dramatically because my appetite was still awful so I was put onto my night feed, I was given 2000kcals in 1 litre of milk overnight, but because I started my night feeding I needed to start insulin because my blood sugars began to become erratic. The weight was still dropping even on the feed so we decided to up my intake to 1.5liters per night which meant I was getting 3000kcals a night! Eventually I began to start gaining weight but my appetite was still poor.

I had two bronchoscopies while I was in Papworth and aware of what was going on, both of them showed that the joins within my lungs were healing but also showed I had an awful lot of mucus still down there. Hence the stay on IVs. I personally felt well enough to leave after around two weeks but scars still wasn't healed on the outside and I was told the minimum stay was 21 days.

My second bronchoscopy was done a few days before I was due to go home and it was decided that I needed more ivs, this was gutting but I accepted I needed them for the best start for the lungs, the only thing that didn't go down very well with me was the fact I was told I had to stay an extra night because I couldn't go home on one of my iv antibiotics because they couldn't give me a pump to leave with, so I had my drug changed which meant they needed to do a blood test to make sure they dosing was correct so I had to stay an extra night and I let the junior doctor and reg just how unhappy I was. I let them know in such a way I got a massive telling off from Emily after they left and I felt that bad I apologised the next day after ward round.

I took several trips to the duck pond over the 2nd and 3rd week and I had visits from my best pal Connor twice, a family friend who plays in a tribute band to The Jam (a band who I love) came on his scooter from north of Birmingham all the way to Papworth, my Nan and my Uncle came too on another day and my mate Rich and his GF came on another day. It was great to have visitors to break the day up but it was also very very tiring having visitors.

I'd like to thank my Mom Dad and Emily for everything you did for me while I was in Papworth, you took some shit off me because I was 100% emotionless for the time I was in there. I was snappy and I was horrible, I cannot apologise enough for being an idiot over the time in there, and I cannot thank the three people I can always rely on in life enough! I love you all more than you'll know.

I'm lay here doing my best to remember other things that happened, however my parents are away watching Tom Jones and Em is in Kuwait with work so I have nobody to confer with.

My final note on this blog is to say anything else I remember or get told I will put into another blog. And I'd like to say a massive thank you from the bottom of my heart to my donors family for honouring his wishes and allowing his lungs to go to someone in need. You have saved my life, and given me the chance to live the life I have dreamed of having with Emily. Your selfless act is amazingly kind and you will forever be in my thoughts, Emilys thoughts, my families thoughts. THANK YOU!

The next blog will be an update of what I've done since being out of Papworth :) I'm sorry this blog took so long to publish!!

The stranger

You don't know me, and I don't know you, we may have passed in the street, we probably never have, but a selfless decision you've made will ultimately save my life, the life of someone you've never met and never will meet. Someone who may have completely opposing opinions and views on life as you, but you've decided that doesn't matter because your selfless and you want to save lives when yours comes to an unfortunate end. I cannot begin to think of the pain your family will go through when you pass away, but you don't want mine to go through it either so you've offered to help. The thing I can't help thinking is that while I'm writing this your currently doing whatever you do in life, it's 11pm at night, there stands a good chance your in bed sleeping so you can get up tomorrow and go to work to fund the lifestyle you live, pay the rent or mortgage on the house you live in with your partner maybe, and possibly even your children. I wouldn't wish for anyone's life to be cut short, let alone it be cut short for me to live, but I've been told that isn't how it works. Unfortunately you passed away because it was your time to go, but you said that someone deserves the chance to live on with your lungs and I am that lucky person. When that call comes for me, your family will also receive a call or awful news. From your death will come my rebirth, it will be the chance I am waiting for to live my life with my girlfriend. And I will be eternally grateful for you for making thay choice to give me that chance! I don't know you, and I never will, but I'd like to say thank you, a great big massive thank you for the chance you've given me to live my life. Stranger I will never meet, thank you x

The final meet before listing

Wednesday 13th May

Today was a very early wake up call because I'm in Notts on IVs!  So 6am I'm awake and out the bed, I'm washed and dressed and on the road to Birmingham to get mom by 6.15am! The drive home was very uneventful except for the traffic jams all the way home! So my 1 hour drive on a normal trip turned into almost 2 hours which didn't please me.

I pick mom up and we are on the way to Papworth. Pretty chatty drive to begin with then mom gets the Patient Advice Transplant info booklet out I was given the week before and begins to refresh her mind on everything but she manages to fall asleep in record time and the majority of the drive I am chatting to myself in my head about what the different outcomes of the day could be.

Mom wakes up as we get a lot closer to Papworth and says to me 'playing devils advocate, if they tell you today your ineligible for a transplant are you still going to do all your treatment and look after yourself' and without a single thought I reply with an answer that I think shocked her, I said 'No mom, what would the point in that be?' And that was that conversation over very quickly and a very nervous looking mom sat next to me.

We arrive at Papworth and mom drops me off so I go in and check in, the waiting room is packed, there is one or two separate seats and other than that there's standing room only!!

As usual I require a blood test so I put my backpack on the seat I sat in to reserve it and I make my way to the vampires to be bled! It's only 8 bottles they need today so it's not to bad. Once I'd been bled I went back out into the waiting room and awaited my call to go through and meet the surgeon.

Considering clinic is so full my wait to see the surgeon is Pretty short and im called round by Tracey to meet him, we walk in and shake hands and I sit down and he begins to talk and tell me he sees no reason why he won't be able to do the operation, he tells me my lungs are hyperinflated which has made my rib cage bigger so I would be able to have larger lungs transplanted if they became available which is great news, as this makes the pool of lungs available to me bigger, and he tells me all about the operation. He explains the risks and goes through the different types of donors with me and asks me if I'd take lungs from any donor or if I'd be picky and fussy, I'm in no position to be picky so I sign the paperwork to say I'll take any lungs they see fit to transplant into me!!

The chat with the surgeon is concluded with the signing of all the paperwork and the answer to the biggest question I have had all through the process, can I have a photograph of my lungs when they are taken out of me to which I'm told yes but to remind him on the night, so I'm a happy guy!

I walk back into the waiting area and sit down and the wait begins to be called through to meet the anaesthetist and have my neck ultrasound scanned to make sure there is a good enough artery for my central line during transplant surgery for all the medication post transplant. To my amazement after having 5 ports all that is fine and he is more than happy for me to be listed, so I am taken back out into the waiting room to wait to speak to Paul to have my pre listing chat.

After a short wait and a quick phone call to Emily to tell her the good news that i am able to be listed, Paul calls me through and goes through what will happen now I've been put onto the active list.

He asks if we have any questions and  answers all of them for us. He then tells us what happens on the night you receive  the call. And tells me that if its him that calls me and its out of office hours he usually opens up the call with 'Its a bit late for a social call' to which we have a laugh and a joke. He goes through all the logistics of getting from wherever I am in the mainland of the UK to Papworth, and also what happens if I receive a false alarm.

I was then told the Do's and Don'ts of being on the transplant list, I was expecting a massive list so was pretty shocked when the Do's were, Do live your life. An the Don'ts were, Don't live your life waiting for the call!!

We finish chatting about everything and leave to come home knowing that I would be listed by either Friday or that week or Monday of the following at the latest as there's been a few admin issues recently at Papworth as they are having a new computer system fitted!

So we drive away from Papworth hospital knowing I'll be receiving a phone call soon to say I'm on the active list and I couldn't of been happier! When the surgeon got the paperwork out to sign I felt like a childhood dream of signing a professional contract with a football team was happening or I was signing the contract on the career of my life!

I know that once I'm on that list it's a lottery, it's a waiting game, but unless you have a ticket you can't win the lottery can you! This transplant is going to give me the future I want with Em and hopefully allow us to start our own little family and get a house together and me get a job so I can look after my princess like a real man should!

The assessment days

Tuesday 5th May,

Tuesday morning, my alarm goes off at 6am, followed by a knock on the door and a shout from my dad, but that's to no avail as I still manage to fall back to sleep, only to be woken at 6.30am the time we were supposed to be leaving by my mom going spare!

I jump out of bed, which isn't wise as being on oxygen doesn't allow your body to move quite so quickly so I instantly sit down on the edge of the bed, luckily the night before I had packed my bags for the overnight stay at Papworth so I wasn't in much of a rush I just needed to wash, get dressed and pack my NIV machine.

We finally get onto the road and the traffic is horrendous, most of the way, then when we hit the A16 where we sit in stationary traffic for over half an hour causing us to be late, and I hate being late.

We arrive at Papworth and mom drops me at reception and goes to park the car, I check in with reception and make my way up to Baron ward, where I settle into room 13 and just as mom comes onto the ward we are whisked away to lung function to start the day of assessments on my lungs and heart.

I have 3 different types of lung function tests done then I get a break before having to do a 6 minute walk test in which I managed to walk a meager 140 metres. After that I am wheeled back up to the ward where I get to relax for about 30 minutes before being take for a heart ECHO scan.

This takes around 45 minutes to complete, this is an ultrasound scan on the heart looking at all the different chambers of the heart to make sure it's strong enough to cope with the transplant operation. Once that was finished and I was taken back to the ward again.

As I get back into my room two very nice phlebotomists come in to attempt to take another 10 bottles of blood off me, unlike the lady in transplant clinic they were very unfortunate and stabbed me several times and got nothing out of me.

After giving a urine sample and two sputum samples that was my day of tests complete so me and mom relaxed for a few hours and even got to sample the delights of the mallard ducks that come and graced us with their presence outside the window of the room for a while before we got ready and went to weatherspoons for a meal.

Wednesday 6th May

Another early start to the day with a wake up call from the nurse at 8.30am as I was booked in for my lung CT scan at 9.30am so she wanted me to have plenty of time to wake up and get dressed.

I went to the toilet and came back to the room and the porters were outside my room at 8.45am ready to take me to CT so I rung my mom and told her to meet me at transplant clinic as straight after the CT scan I was being taken there to meet Sadie the nurse, Paul another of the Transplant Co ordinators and Dr Jas Palmer the other of the two Transplant consultants.

After breaking the CT scanner while I was having my scan I was wheeled round to Transplant clinic where I was met by the goose and we sat and chatted for a while, I was then called in to speak to Sadie and she gave us a lot of facts and statistics about the transplant and the operation.  a lot of our questions were answered by Sadie as they came up through out our chat so we didn't feel like anything was left be be asked at that point.

I was then stabbed a few times to get the bloods the guys failed to get the day before! Then it was my turn to go into speak to Paul which was very brief as Dr Palmer came in and we commenced with our consultation. He was a little worried about my compliance issues I'd had previously but he was convinced I'd turned the corner and said I was an ideal candidate for new lungs and said I would need to come back next week to meet the surgeon and anaesthetist to make sure they were happy then they would discuss listing me!

I was over the moon and could finally allow myself to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel but I knew it was still only a tiny glimmer and it was very very far away!